The Census Ministry is run by Brigadier General of the Border Guard, Governor of Dytusstein, Commander of the Ministry of the Press, Archmage of Moontonia, Commander of the Ministry of the Census Elwood Sheflin. The purpose of the Census is to tally up important numbers in Moontonia such as population, animal population, etc. All of the Census' counts are publicly available. Enjoy!
Brigadier General of the Border Guard, Governor of Dytusstein, Commander of the Ministry of the Press, Archmage of Moontonia, Commander of the Ministry of the Census. Elwood Sheflin
Counts by the Census in order from newest to oldest.
Top-Secret Censuses Taken Since October of 2024: 90, maybe more. (6-1-25) Cheapest Pint In Britain: Round 2 quid innit (5-29-25) Wigs Worn: 0 (10-23-24) Adults Running Moontonia: 100% (10-16-24) Names on Hijinks Watchlist: 1 (10-16-24) Relevant Censuses Crossposted: 2 (October Metric, updated 10-16-24) Number of Deer in Moontonia: 0 (8-23-24) Percentage of broken swords in Moontonian events: 100% (8/5/24) Percentage of broken swords in international Olympic games: TBD but probably lower than 100% (8-5-24) Balls Caught: 54 (6/30/24) War Bonds Needed By The End of The Calendar Year: 125 (6/29/24) Days in a Month: 31 (6/10/24) Moontonian Peacibility: Infinite (5/27/24) Moontonian Patience: Impossibly high (5/27/24) Moontonian Cooperability: Remarkable (5/27/24) Wars Lost: 0 (5-23-24) Likelihood of Losing a War: 0% (5-23-24) Days Spent Counting Number of Stars in the Sky: 10 (4/26/25) Certainty I Will Determine the Number of Stars in the Sky: 100% (4/26/25) Insults Leveled In My Reports: 0 (4-15-24) Professionalism In My Work: 100% (4-15-24) Fancy cs Typed: 0 (4-15-24) Professionalism In My Work, Revisited In Honor Of Munchy: 100% (4-15-24) Border Violations Under Current Administration, An Unbiased Study: 0 (4-10-24) Current Border Administration Approval Rating, An Unbiased Study: 100% (4-10-24) Conflicts of Interest Between Census Bureau and Border Patrol, An Unbiased Study: 0 (4-10-24) Successful Recreational Trepanations in History: 0 (4-10-24) [DESIGNATED IRRELEVANT TO MOONTONIAN PURPOSES] A gentle reminder: Percentage of Census Critics Dueled: 100% (4-4-24) Duels Lost: 0 (4-4-24) Estimated Certainty You Will Be Put In The Ground If You Come For The Census: 100% (4-4-24) Number of Recent Proposed Censuses Deemed Unacceptable to Print by the Moontonian Bureau of Census Accountability: 10 (3-3-24) A study done by the Moontonian bureau of census accountability research has recently been published endorsing a new metric for this topic of census to attempt to achieve a more accurate number that is likely to require less frequent addendum: Projected Number of Censuses Completed By Me By the End of 2/15/24: 18 (2-15-24) Recently, a study done by the Moontonian bureau of census accountability research has been published revealing a past census should be urgently rectified it took much time and effort by the bureau of census accountability to gather information, peer review, and publish the study but we finally have a more accurate number: Number of Censuses Taken By Me: Sixteen (2-13-24) Number of Censuses Taken By Me: Fifteen (2-8-24) Number of Censuses Taken By Me: Fourteen (2-8-24) Number of Censuses Taken By Me: Thirteen (2-8-24) Number of Deer in Moontonia: 0. (1-24-24) Number of Days Held Captive by Santa Claus: 18. (1-10-24) Number of Presents Withheld From Our Great Leader by The Nefarious Santa Claus: Estimated in the hundreds. Perhaps thousands. Will require further analysis. (12-23-23) Number of Helpers For The Nefarious Santa Claus: Estimated in the millions. Will require further analysis. (12-22-23) Number of Citizens in our Nation: 69 (12-11-23) Number of Dollars to Be Gained via Investment in War Bonds: One Thousand Million Billion (12-9-23) Number of Supreme Leaders: THERE COULD ONLY EVER BE ONE (12-4-23) Number of Citizens Resentful of our Grand Republic: 0 (11-10-23) Number of Whips: 1 (10-29-23) Number of Naes (Adjusted for Inflation): 2 (10-29-23) Number of Times Supreme Leader Has Had Sex: Uncountably large (10-10-23) Total number of civilians military and non-military in the U.M.S.M. : 25, (4/27/21) Total number of non-military civilians in the U.M.S.M: 7, (4/17/21) Amount of Todd's Art in the UMSM: 257 (2/28/21) Number of Beatles Members: 4 (2/25/20) Number of Coins made in a day: 32 million (2/24/20) Number of States in the U.S.A.: 50 (2/24/21) Number of stars in the galaxy: 100,000 (10/7/20) Population of the U.M.S.M: 32 people (10/5/20) Number of deer in the U.M.S.M: 0 (4/2/20)